Whirlwind Weekend

Last weekend we took James back home for the first time. I guess I shouldn't say home, because Charlotte is our home, and when I was little I used to get mad at my mom when she would refer to Escanaba as home instead of Lewiston. So rather, we took James to Western New York last weekend for the first time. It was a wonderful weekend, but wow, was it busy! I thought our trips back home before James were busy. I had no idea! We did the usual West Seneca Lewiston shuffle and back again. The highlight of our weekend was James's christening at St. John Vianney on Sunday. We also got to attend Kevin's law school graduation and party and see lots and lots of family and friends. Jim and I counted, and we were able to introduce James to over 70 friends and extended family members while we were there! And that's not counting all the people that he met in the airport and on the plane. Speaking of which, James did great on the plane for the first time.
James started off the weekend by meeting his great grandparents. They'd heard so much about James III, I know they were just thrilled to finally meet him.

He also got to meet Great Aunt Kathy and have some fun at Grandma's house.

Next it was off to Grandpa's house, where James had pastina for the first time. Grandpa also gave him a nice piece of pork tenderloin to suck on, which he really seemed to enjoy. Gotta start them young to keep up with all the eating in the Canali family!

He hung with Uncle Kevin. They have the same color hair, which we learned from Aunt Fran, came from James's great great great Grandfather.

Meeting future Aunt Lindsay.

Chillin with cousins Olivia and Lorena.

Great Great Aunt Betty.

Meeting his new friend Alyssa.

James loved Pina, but who doesn't?

James will have another new friend next time we visit. Jack or Sawyer is in Meaghan's belly.

Having fun with Rona.

I got to attend Meghan's baby shower while we were there. That's a Blue NA, but everyone at the shower did a double take.Kevin's law school graduation.

The graduate. We're so proud of him!

Suzi and Uncle Greg came all the way from Charlotte for the festivities.

Clowning around with his godparents, Uncle Jon and Aunt Alicia, before church.

Great Uncle Les and Aunt Jeanne came all the way from Escanaba.

At the baptism. Yes, James wore a gown. It was a beautiful handmade gown that came all the way from Venice. Grandma brought it back from her trip to Italy when James was born.

Meeting Great Uncle Tim.

What an angel! He didn't even flinch when the water was poured on his head. Monseigneur Gallagher said that means he is going to be a priest!!

Getting a congratulatory kiss from cousin Ava.

Proud Great Grandpa Guelfo.

We celebrated at Pearl Street Grill & Brewery after the ceremony.

It was a great weekend but very exhausting. I'm still trying to catch up on my sleep. We took hundreds more pictures during the weekend and I could only post a few here, so I'll post them on Kodak Gallery soon. Thanks to all our friends and family for making it such a special weekend and welcoming James with such open arms. We can't wait for our next visit!

My First Mother's Day

Last weekend I got to celebrate my first Mother's Day. It was nice to finally be able to think of Mother's Day as a day to celebrate, rather than spend the day being sad. Jim and James (and Max too) went out of their way to make my first Mother's Day very special. James came home from daycare last week with a homemade Mother's Day present. It was a little laminated craft with his handprints and a poem imprinted on it. It was so cute, that I teared up when I opened it. Now I know why my Mom used to say that homemade cards and presents were her favorite. I never believed her until now.

As usual Jim went above and beyond, giving me way too much. I got roses and a beautiful heart shaped locket with a picture of James for my charm bracelet. Jim also surprised me by taking James to get his picture taken. He picked James up from daycare, dressed them in matching outfits, and had the most adorable pictures taken of the two of them. All without me knowing a thing! We also went to brunch at Maddi's Southern Bistro in Birkdale Village, and I ate way too much. James was pretty well behaved. The only time he was really fussy was after the large table of people in his line of view left, our waiter wasn't interested in paying him any attention, and he cried because he couldn't get anyone to look at him. The entire weekend was wonderful, but the best part was just spending time together as a family.

I also spent the day thinking about and missing my own mother. No matter how much joy James brings to my life, there is always something missing. It's hard to believe she will never know James, or see me as a mother myself. It's also hard for me to believe that James will never get to know the amazing person I got to call mom. The best I can do is try to keep her memory and spirit alive by carrying on as many traditions as possible, and telling him what an wonderful person she was. Hopefully she would be as proud of me, as I am of her.

James 2.0

Introducing......the new James. After twelve very long days, James got the retainers out of his nose, and we were finally able to see the full effect of his surgery. His lip looks amazing. I was shocked by how quickly it healed. These pictures were taken almost a week ago, and he has healed even more since then. Dr. Matthews said that things will continue to change over the next year, so we won't know exactly how everything will turn out until then. Whatever the end result, we are more than pleased. Dr. Matthews is truly an amazing doctor. Everything we heard was true, and I'm so glad we found him. He may be a little quirky, but he really loves the kids and you can just tell that is why he does what he does. He still intimidates the heck out of me, and I've learned to not really ask questions for fear of getting either 1) much more confused than I already was, 2) a lecture about the many problems with my diet, 3) a stare of utter disgust for my pure stupidity, or a combination of all three. So rather than feel like we understood exactly what to expect during and after the surgery, Jim and I just had to put all our faith and trust in Dr. Matthews. It certainly paid off because, he sure knows what he's talking, or in his case, not talking, about!


Jim's previous post really summed up the whole surgery experience, so there's really not much to add. The only thing I'll say is that it was alot more difficult and emotional that I thought it would be. Everyone kept telling me how resilient babies are, and how quickly he would bounce back, etc., etc. And that is all true, but I don't think anyone can really prepare you for seeing your baby in the recovery room hooked up to all kinds of machines and struggling to come out of the anesthesia. At least I wasn't prepared for how hard it was to see James like that. It was a feeling of helplessness like I've never felt before, because there was nothing I could do to make him comfortable. I keep playing that first day and very long night in my head over and over again. I can hear him crying with that horrible hoarse cry from the tube in his throat and see him thrashing in pain, and it just makes me sad. Luckily by early afternoon on the day after, he was nursing again, and we started to see signs of the old James shining through. Then as we were walking through the hospital to take James home after we were discharged, I had a major reality check as I saw all the families who weren't taking their babies home. I hugged James a little tighter that day as we walked through the lobby, because no matter how tough the last 24 hours had been, I knew just how lucky we were that James only had a cleft lip.

From James J. Lilley I to James J. Lilley III

It seems ironic that as my father's birthday approaches tomorrow, today was a wonderful day for James III. James had his retainers removed today and the last of his stitches wiped away and we were left with the unencumbered vision of our most handsome son. It is so wonderful to see our son a few weeks after his surgery. He looks fantastic and his personality just shines through a new and improved lip and nose.

As proud as I am to have such a wonderful son, there is always a sadness that comes about when an anniversary or birthday approaches for one of our family's special angels. In this case it is my father's birthday tomorrow, cinco de mayo. My dad would have been so amused by James. His personality is so infectious and my dad would have just melted when he was around him. The first James J. was a wonderful wonderful father. He was perfect in every way. He coached all of our teams, was the first one at parent / teacher conferences and made sure that we not only had everything we needed but also everything we wanted.

It is days like tomorrow that I am so grateful to Christy for naming our son after my father. There is only so much that you can do to pay tribute to a man that did so many times more for you than you could ever imagine doing for him. Our annual golf tournament is something that brings so many friends together to reminisce about my dad but there is something about looking into the same blue eyes that my father had and knowing that, although James will never know his grandfather, I can someday tell him why he is named James III.

James makes it easier to get over the loss of such a special person as he greets us with a smile and a giggle every morning and is that kind of playful that makes you never want to say "no" to him. I would like to think that was the way my father felt about Jon and me and the reason he was such a good father to us. I hope to use everything he taught me to be the same kind of father to James.

It is in thinking about the baseball, basketball, and hockey games; the trips to the golf course at a very early age; the tutoring that came when helping with homework; the times I would come out of last period in high school to see my dad waiting for me in the foyer; the times when he would come to my games in college with my mother just to turn around and immediately go to one of Jon's games right after mine ended; and all of those hours just sitting around in the garage on a warm summer's night just talking about the day that leads me to say, "Happy Birthday Dad! I hope you enjoy your very special present, a precious young boy named in your honor."